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It Happens at Home 9-18-2005

In a very real sense, the most important place for life and faith formation is the home. In the blessing of the Fathers in the baptism of infants (which follows the Blessing of the Mother), the following words are spoken:

“May God bless the father of this child. He and his wife will be the first teachers of their child in the ways of faith. (And we could add in the ways of life) May they be also the best of teachers, bearing witness to the faith by what they say and do in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

This is no idle statement – pie in the sky thinking or church-talk. It expresses a reality that is recognized by the social sciences. This past Tuesday, the Nightly news on ABC reported on a new Columbia University Study that indicated that teenagers who eat with their families at least five times a week are more likely to get better grades in school and much less likely to have substance abuse problems.

This study found that teens having family dinners five or more times a week were 42 percent less likely to drink alcohol, 59 percent less likely to smoke cigarettes and 66 percent less likely to try marijuana. It also reported that such teens were 40 percent more likely to get A’s and B’s in school.

This survey is no fluke. It is consistent with a great deal of current research. A Harvard University study found that family dinners were the most important family events in helping children develop language skills. David Elkind, a professor of child development at Tufts University said” At a time when kids are under a lot of stress for a lot of different reasons, having that regular meal time they can count on, that their parents are there for support – that can be very helpful.”

This is also true for religious values and faith formation. It must happen at home – if not, it will not happen in a Catholic school or a PREP program. The homes in which our students live are the most influential factor in their formation about religious beliefs and practices as well as values and lifestyle.

I can hear some of you saying – in today’s world gathering together as a family regularly for meals or anything is almost impossible – with working late, football practice, dancing lessons, basketball games, cheerleading, track, hockey games, etc.

It will take effort but it will pay off with big dividends. Maybe you can’t always have cooked meals, sometimes you can order in. It may not be until 8:00 P.M. at night. It may only be gathering around the table for 15 or 20 minutes. The important thing is to gather together and share what’s going on in each other’s life, to share values, faith, hopes, and dreams.

No catechism, no religion class – no matter how good will compare to what children learn at home. If you don’t go to church, don’t expect your children to go to church. If you don’t pray, don’t expect your children to pray. If you don’t live a moral life, don’t expect your children to live a moral life. In raising your children, the buck does stop at you. It does happen at home!